Planning Tips :: Planning Your Wedding Rehearsal

The best thing to do prior to your wedding is to have a rehearsal. You should invite everyone who will be involved in the ceremony so that everyone can run through when to be there, where to go when they arrive, when to enter, where to stand, etc.... There are a lot of details to go over in order to make sure your ceremony is as smooth as possible, so if you don't do a "practice run" it can cost you valuable time and stress on wedding day.

Here are a few tips to remember when planning the rehearsal:

If the church/venue coordinator wants to take charge, let them.
They've done this many times and will be able to give you the most information on what and what not to do. If you had a different idea about something, or you find something personally unacceptable to you, bring it up during the rehearsal with the coordinator. While the crew in charge has done this so many times that they could do it in their sleep, it's your day...and it should be done the way you want it as long as the venue and time permits.

If you have ceremony musicians, see if they can attend.
Some musicians include the rehearsal cost in their overall price, and for others it may be an additional fee. It is so much better to have the musician(s) as a part of the rehearsal! They are the cue as to when everything starts and when everything ends, so having them on the practice run is really important!

Invite those involved in the ceremony rehearsal to a rehearsal dinner.
Traditionally the groom's parents are in charge of planning and paying for the rehearsal dinner. In today's times, that may be different in your case...either way, it is polite to invite everyone who's participating to a dinner after the ceremony rehearsal. Depending on the size of the group, you may need to make reservations in advance. Some of my past brides and grooms have held the rehearsal dinner at a parent's house and had it catered.

Provide thank-you gifts for those involved in your ceremony.
Your bridesmaids and groomsmen are doing a lot to be a part of your big day, so be sure to thank them for participating. The rehearsal dinner is a great time to give thank-you gifts for the bridal party and parents while everyone is together. Wedding day will whiz by for you and there will be a ton of guests to greet, so the rehearsal dinner is a much more intimate setting to thank them for being involved in your big day.

What's Involved in Being a Groomsman

Being a groomsman entails a monetary commitment, a time commitment, and a support commitment. It's not just partying all night with your buddies, bridesmaids and single ladies! Use this list as a guide to prepare yourself for what will be expected of you when you accept a groomsman position in your friend's wedding.

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Attend fittings and pay for a tuxedo. More than likely you will be asked to rent a tuxedo for the day (unless you already own one that would be acceptable). In that case, you'll probably have to buy/rent a matching tie, vest, cummerbund, or other accessories. Be prepared financially to pay for your clothing ensemble for the day. Also, be prepared to do it well in advance. Don't wait until the week of the wedding and give the bride added stress. :)

Help the Best Man organize the bachelor party. The Best Man and groomsmen are responsible for paying for and organizing the bachelor party. Offer your help to the Best Man to assist with the planning and clean up of the party.

Prepare a toast/speech (if needed). Sometimes with a large wedding party, only the Best Man and Fathers will give a toast. However, if the groom wants you to say a few words, you should be prepared with something charming to say.

 Photo by Trejo Photography

Participate in all pre-wedding functions. As a groomsmen, there are several pre-wedding functions you'll need to be present at including (but not limited to) the bachelor party, the ceremony rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

Rent a hotel room. If the wedding is not near your home, you may need to reserve a hotel room for the night of the night before and night of the wedding. If you're friends with any of the groomsmen who live nearby, staying at their place might be an option for you, but be prepared to reserve a hotel room in advance if you need to. You may also be able to share a hotel room with another groomsman to split the cost. Make sure to ask for a room with two double beds. :)

Buy a gift. Start saving your extra dollars to buy a wedding gift for the happy couple. It is acceptable to partner up with another groomsman (or two) and combine your funds to get a more expensive and bigger gift!

Photo by Lambert Photographs

Be on-time! The most important thing is to be on-time. If you have trouble being on time, then pretend everything starts half an hour earlier than it really does. Fittings, parties, dinners, and ESPECIALLY the wedding ceremony.

Escorting during the ceremony. Sometimes groomsmen are asked to act as ushers when none are available. This means escorting the female guests to their seats at the ceremony for both the bride's side and the groom's side. You simply ask them which side they'd prefer (bride or groom), offer your arm, and walk them to the next available row of seats. You will also participate in the ceremony processional by walking a bridesmaid down the aisle.

Dancing! You may be asked to dance with a bridesmaid during the traditional wedding party dance. Sometimes the bride & groom will choose to have everyone dance with their wives or dates instead, but be prepared to dance at some point in time during the evening! You may also want to coax others to dance and help to liven up the dance floor.

Photo by Z Media

Decorate the getaway car. You may need to enlist the help of the rest of the wedding party to decorate the bride & groom's getaway car. Check beforehand to see if this is acceptable because some rentals or limos won't allow you to do anything to their vehicles. If they say it's ok, make sure to have the necessary items ready and sneak out mid-reception to do the damage. :)

Return your tuxedo. If you rented a tux instead of purchasing, make sure to return it on time. The groom could be charged a late fee if he organized the rentals, and that's not the parting gift you want to leave for him!

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If you know in advance that you can't afford it or can't commit to everything being a groomsman includes, don't be afraid to graciously decline. Simply say that you're honored to be asked, but that you're unable to commit to the duties for financial reasons. He may opt to help out in some way to make sure you're included, but you should always be up front with him if you think there will be issues.

What's Involved in Being a Bridesmaid

Bridesmaids play an important role in weddings. If you've been asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and it's your first time, you may not know all of the duties that are attached to having that prestigious title. If you have been a bridesmaid before, use this as a refresher course and a reminder of what your gal pal needs from you to prepare for her big day.

Planning, Day-Of Coordination and Bouquets by Michéll Events

Venue :: House of Blues Cleveland
Photo by Digital 504

Assist with pre-wedding tasks. Planning a wedding involves a lot of details, and a bride can easily become overwhelmed with the list of small things to accomplish before the wedding. As a bridesmaid, you should ask the bride how you can help. Suggest things such as helping to pack for the honeymoon, alphabetizing escort cards, tracking RSVP's, help to stuff and mail invitations, and of course, offer help when she's shopping for her dress and the bridesmaids dresses!

Assist with planning or co-hosting the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Whether you spearhead the planning process, or offer to handle one specific aspect, the bridesmaids and MOH (Maid of Honor) should handle the bridal shower. This includes sending invites, planning games and activities, decorating, and contributing funds to buy the supplies and food.

Pay for your bridesmaids dress & accessories. Part of being a bridesmaid is paying for your ensemble. Dress, shoes, accessories....keep that in mind and start saving as far in advance as you can, if need be. Of course, as they always say.....you can get more use out of it by wearing it again! ;)

Buy a shower gift and wedding gift. While you're saving, budget in buying a couple gifts. A good idea is to partner with one or a few other bridesmaids and combine your funds to get one really amazing gift!

Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. As a member of the wedding party, you'll be required to be present at all pre-wedding functions, most importantly the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. 

Photo by Becky's Photography

Participate in the receiving line. These days some brides choose too nix the formal receiving line for a more relaxed type of guest greeting at the reception. However, if your bride is doing a formal receiving line at the church or reception, be prepared to stand in the line and greet guests with a smile (maybe a hug) and introduce yourself. You should also be prepared to tell your story of how you know the bride and/or groom, because it will be asked!

Lend a helping hand on wedding day. Helping to wrangle the train, bustle the dress, bring the bride a drink, or anything else to help the MOH make sure the bride is comfortable and happy.

Dancing and Photographs! You may have to participate in a wedding party dance with one of the groomsmen. Some brides opt for a more modern option of allowing you to dance with your own husband or date instead of a groomsmen, but be prepared to dance either way. It's also a good idea to coax others onto the dance floor, because some people may need some encouragement to get started! Also keep in mind that every minute of this day is being photographed, so your beautiful self will be in a lot of photos! Make sure to bring along whatever you need to keep looking your best throughout the day (if it's not included in your wedding attire, get a matching handbag and fill it with your necessities).

Keep the complaining to a minimum. This may sound harsh, but when a bride has six ladies complaining about the color of the dress, or the expense of being a bridesmaid, or the headache of planning a shower, it takes all the wind out of her sails. Try to keep the complaining to a minimum, make constructive suggestions instead.

 

Photo by Lambert Photographs

If the bride has a wedding planner or day-of coordinator, they will also be watching these small details and making sure they get done, and assisting to make sure the bride has everything she needs. If this is the case, your to-do list may not be as heavy if that's the case. However, you should still offer the help and be there for emotional support. You want to make yourself available and accessible to your friend for anything she needs, even if it's as small as finding her a tissue when she reads a note from her husband-to-be before the ceremony. Have fun being a bridesmaid!

Up next......What's involved in being a Groomsman. We haven't forgotten the guys!