The Best Guide to the Best Man's Duties

After the groom's brother or best friend says "I do" to being the best man, what exactly are his responsibilities? Sure, he's supposed to plan the bachelor party, but what other best man duties does he need to know about? There are more things for him to take care of then he might have realized!

So, what does a best man do? In short, he's your groom's right-hand man. The best man role revolves all around lightening the groom's load before, during and after the wedding. Read on to for a breakdown of exactly what's expected of him.

Photo by Trejo Photography

Pre-Wedding Best Man Duties

• Help the groom choose and rent (or buy) wedding formalwear, and coordinate the other groomsmen's rentals. The best man may also be asked to help arrange accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen. If it's a more casual wedding, help groomsmen find the outfits online or in store.
• Organize the bachelor party (but recruit the other groomsmen to help). Also, the cost should be split among everyone who attends the festivities.
• Coordinate the groomsmen's gift to the groom.


Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and perhaps make a (low-key) toast.
The best man provides emotional support, patiently listening to the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions without any judgment. He's the reassuring best friend that every groom needs. The best man will pat the groom on the back, and keep him focused and his head in the game.

Best Man Responsibilities Day-of-Wedding

• Keep an eye on the clock the morning of the wedding to ensure the groom and all the groomsmen get to the ceremony venue on time.
• Wrangle the groomsmen throughout the ceremony and make sure they're in the right place at the right time, organized, and presentable. (The best man will also make sure the groomsmen's aren't glued to their cell phones and any flasks are out of sight!)
• At the ceremony, hold on to the wedding rings for safekeeping.
• Help welcome guests to the wedding ceremony.
• Serve as a witness during the marriage-license signing.
• Give the officiant his fee (placed in a sealed envelope) after the ceremony, unless the officiant is a friend, in which a handshake or a hug should suffice.
• Be the emcee in a pinch. Let's say the DJ or the band cancels at the last minute or shows up late—a good best man will step in and crack a few jokes, get the crowd to the dance floor, and introduce the key players so the party can go on as planned.
• Offer the first toast to the newlyweds at the reception (his biggest responsibility!).
• Mingle at the reception to make sure guests are having a good time.
• Dance with the bride, the maid-of-honor, the mother of the bride, and the mother of the groom during the reception.
• Collect any gifts and cards guests may bring to the reception. Ask the bride and groom (before the wedding) where they'd like you to store the presents.
• Decorate the getaway car (again, enlist the groomsmen and bridesmaids to help!).

Photo by Cavanaugh Photography

Post-Ceremony Best Man Responsibilities

• Take care of the groom's clothes after he changes out of his wedding attire.
• Make sure all of the groom's wedding-related expenses are taken care of (really, the vendors should have all been paid in full one month before the big day, but in the event they haven't been, it's the best man who makes sure everything is settled).
• Coordinate car transportation for the bride and groom to leave the reception.
• Make sure any rented tuxes are returned on time (and intact).

See the full article at Brides.com.

Planning Tips :: How to Establish Your Wedding Budget

One in three couples go over budget! Now that I have your attention, let's talk about how to avoid going over budget! For most couples, your wedding will be the biggest and priciest party you’ve ever hosted. The average U.S. wedding costs $26,522 for 135 guests, according to the 2016 Brides American Wedding Study. Just about half of engaged couples will foot the entire bill themselves, while an additional 25 percent pay for at least part of it with parents or others contributing. Make sure you're not one of the over budget couples by establishing a realistic wedding budget from the beginning of your planning process!

Here are some excellent tips from Brides Magazine on setting your budget:

Step 1: Count Your Cash

How much you have to spend on the wedding is directly proportional to three sources of money: you and your fiancé's individual savings; the amount you can set aside from your current income; plus any contributions from parents or loved ones. Here's how to approach each:

Your savings: This isn't as simple as checking your bank account. Ideally, you and your partner each have three months of living expenses set aside in case of a job loss or health setback (separate from retirement funds). Subtract that in-case-of-emergency amount from your total balance in the bank, and that's how much you could put toward wedding costs.

Your monthly income: After you've made payments for existing debts, like student loans, set aside up to 10 percent of your earnings each month. "Establish direct deposits into a separate account for wedding expenses so it isn't just leftovers that get saved," says Erin Lowry, a personal-finance expert and the author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together.

Any contributions from your parents: "Never assume your parents or other loved ones are willing and able to help cover the cost of a wedding," says Lowry. "But it certainly doesn't hurt to ask."

Step 2: Track Your Spending

Create a spreadsheet with three expense columns: Estimated, Modified, and Actual. Amounts under Estimated will be driven by research of costs in your area (check sites like Weddingwire and Thumbtack to find local averages for venues and vendors), proposals from the vendors you choose will go in Modified, and the final amount you pay them will go in Actual.


Adjust your estimates after calling in vendors' costs. Start with the venue because it's the biggest piece of the wedding pie and a major factor in determining guest count. When vendors give you estimates, verify if tax is included. If not, do the math yourself with state and local tax rates to adjust the proposal.


Add a column for the estimated tip. Write "included" if gratuity is factored into the vendor's price. (For example, caterers automatically tack on 15 to 20 percent of the total, which you pay in advance.)

Add a line item called Extras that equals 15 percent of your total budget to cushion for things you'll likely forget (invitation postage, parking valets) or won't anticipate in advance (corkage and plating fees). Never spend this money up front; you'll need it throughout the planning process as incidentals arise. Trust.

Step 3: Prepare for Surprises

Before you sign on the dotted line of vendor contracts or start buying gift bag items, read the fine print, because expenses that seem small early on could add up quickly. If the total of the line item isn't in your overall budget, cut it!


Vendor Transportation: Hiring an out-of-town band or photographer? You might need to pay for a rental van or plane tickets. Double-check the contract to see what exactly is covered.


Set-Up And Breakdown Fees: Cleanup isn't always included, and you may have to pay overtime rates depending on what time your reception ends.


Custom Cocktails: Signature drinks and spirits can add $3,500 to a 200-person wedding, says Calder Clark, a top wedding planner in Charleston, South Carolina.


Digital Access: Some photographers charge as much as $1,200 to view and share your photos online.


Envelope Stuffing: Some stationers charge as much as $7 per invite. To save, call your bridesmaids over, drink some wine, and DIY instead.


Planners: A full-service event designer can charge as much as $25,000 or even 20 percent of the total budget for a Kardashian-scale affair, but a day-of coordinator costs an average of $1,500. Before you enlist a pro, know what you have to spend and factor in that rate.

Step 4: Find Ways to Save

Over-budget? These six ideas will slash your spending in a meaningful way.


Change the venue: Raw spaces like barns and lofts seem like a steal, but you could spend a lot making them wedding-beautiful. "You may have to bring in tables, chairs, china, glassware, silverware, kitchen equipment for the caterer, even restrooms and AC or heat," cautions Sara Fay Egan, a partner at Jackson Durham Floral and Event Design in Dallas. Before you commit, estimate the total price of a wedding at that space versus one that includes all the basics.


Edit the guest list: Each attendee costs far more than his or her meal when you consider the invitation, welcome bag, transportation, slice of cake, and favor. "Never have a B-list, and be ruthless with your A-list," says Clark. For the average 135-person reception, shrinking the guest list by 15 people saves you approximately $1,300.


Go off-peak: Have a winter wedding. Choose a Friday or Sunday. Or celebrate with mimosas over brunch instead of hosting a four-course, wine-paired dinner.


Build in time: To save for the wedding they want, 57 percent of brides said they were willing to prolong their engagement. "Negotiating is a lot more difficult when vendors know you're in a time crunch," says financial expert Farnoosh Torabi, host of the So Money podcast.


Host the ceremony and reception in the same place: Doing so could save as much as $4,000 on transportation for the wedding party and guests.


Forgo a live band: The big-name ones can charge upwards of $30,000, while a DJ will cost a few thousand bucks

Step 5. Charge Responsibly

No matter how tempted you are to boost your cash flow with credit cards, don't go overboard. "Never charge anything that you can't pay off in 30 days," says Torabi. That is, unless you qualify for a card with a zero-percent purchase APR, which lets you skirt interest payments as long as you pay your entire balance within a certain time frame (usually 12 to 15 months). Torabi advises mapping out a plan for how you intend to do that before swiping the plastic. For example, register for cash gifts that you can put toward a portion of the wedding and create a savings plan to cover the rest. If you do use a credit card, choose one with a generous cash-back program. You can use the rewards earned during that zero-percent-APR period toward the honeymoon or to pay off any remaining wedding expenses. But try to avoid signing up for more than one card, which can damage your credit score.

See the full article at Brides.com.

Vendor Spotlight :: Sarah's Hair

Sarah Hubbard of Sarah's Hair is a fabulous hair stylist who is available for weddings and events. She has a studio salon in Rockwall for appointments daily, but can do onsite wedding and event work as well. I recently went to see her at her place in Rockwall and had my hair cut and colored. It was a great experience from beginning to end...and that shampoo massage was the best EVER!! I have seriously never had that done before, and I wanted her to just keep washing all day! lol! Check her out on Facebook at Sarah's Hair.

Wedding Day :: Cutting the Cake

In doing over 100 weddings and events, I've seen many so many different options when cutting the wedding cake. Everyone should make it personal and their own style! The cake cutting is the first task you complete or accomplish together as husband and wife and it symbolizes your promise to each other, so make it great! Here are a few do's and dont's, tips for choosing music, things to remember to make it go off without a hitch, and even some alternatives to having a wedding cake.... 

Choose a Great Cake-Cutting Song
It's important to choose a great wedding song! Here's a link to some great cake cutting songs to choose from! I've been asked to research alternative interesting songs for all sorts of weddings. Some want traditional songs, some want a song no one's ever heard before at a wedding....here are a few links with options for whatever you want!

9 Totally Unexpected Cake Cutting Songs from Loverly

Most Popular Cake Cutting Songs from Project Wedding

10 Country Cake Cutting Songs from Wedding-Music-Help.com

Photos :: Cut the Cake, Feed the Cake to Each Other and Smash the Cake
Your photographer is going to want to get the perfect pic of you cutting the cake, so don't feel like you have to rush through it. Go slow, take your time, laugh and enjoy the moment. Generally you want to cut the bottom tier, and the top tier is saved in the freezer to enjoy on your first anniversary. The venue may provide a cake knife and server, but most choose to buy their own and some even have them engraved.

After the cake cutting, take the slice you cut and plate it. You each take a fork and feed a bite to each other. Again, don't rush...your photographer is wanting the perfect pic for you, so go slow and enjoy the moment. Then it's on the cake smash. You take a small portion of the cake you cut and smash it in your new spouse's face. Some choose to leave this out (maybe she doesn't want to take the chance of getting chocolate frosting on the dress, or maybe she doesn't want to chance her perfect make up being smudged when cleaning off cake... Several reasons might halt this part of the tradition...and that's ok! It's your day, so do it however you choose.

When to Cut the Cake
Most weddings opt to use the wedding cake as the dessert for the evening, so that means the catering staff needs time to cut it and plate it after it's cut. Generally the best time to cut your cake is before dinner. That way, the staff has it cut to pass once the guests are finished eating. If you're not serving a plated dinner and you're having a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres type reception, you can alter the time and have it served whenever you choose.

Where to Place & Cut the Cake
Make sure to cut the cake in a central location that all the guests have a front row view...depending on your venue, maybe the center of the dance floor, maybe near the head table...just make sure to make your cake table front and center! Everyone loves to see the cake and watch as the bride and groom cut it. It's a fleeting moment that happens quickly, so make sure everyone has a shot to see it! You can even add some flare to the moment by having the bridal party line up and create an entry way to the cake location.

Options Instead of the Traditional Wedding Cake
These days it is becoming popular to provide something instead of the traditional wedding cake. No matter the situation or what you decide to use, you can still order a small cake to cut into and feed to each other so you can have the traditional moment for your reception if you prefer. Here are a few ideas of what we've used in the past instead of wedding cake:

Cupcakes - Cupcakes are a great alternative to the traditional wedding cake. They can be presented in the same fashion, as you can see in the photo there are 6 tiers for a dynamite presentation. One bonus to choosing this option is you forego the cake-cutting fee some venues charge to take your cake in the back and slice it up and plate it. This way, your guests can grab their own cupcake after you're done cutting the top tier together. If you want to keep the top tier for your first wedding anniversary, have a separate small cake like the top tier make for you to cut into...or even take a cupcake, plate it, cut it together, and feed it to each other.

Pies -  Pies can still be cut traditionally as a wedding cake and fed to each other the same way too. It is always wonderful to get a delicious different dessert when going to a wedding. the cake is expected, so the surprise of a delicious alternative is always welcomed! In this particular photo, you'll notice they opted for the small wedding cake to cut for tradition and photo purposes, then they have a pie/dessert bar available for the guests. Loved it!

Bobblehead Cake Topper & Gifts

Ever wanted to see your face on a bobblehead? Look no further. HeadBobble.com can make a bobblehead of anyone just from submitting a photo. They offer cake toppers in a wide variety of poses and styles, or you can order individual bobbleheads as gifts for the bridal party...

Click here for cake topper styles!

8 Wedding Rules That Can Be Broken

Good to know!

Couples are personalizing their nuptials more and more, and as budgets become stricter, a lot of the old etiquette is being pushed aside. From who pays for the reception to how long afterward you can send a gift, find out which wedding rules are being bent and which ones can be broken!

Planning & Coordination by: Michéll Events

Photo by: EM Event Photography

Cake by: About the Cake

1. The bride's family doesn't always pay.

Tradition has always dictated that the bride's family pays for the wedding and the groom's family pays for the honeymoon. But because of the recent recession, that's not necessarily the case anymore. "Oftentimes the actual funding for the wedding, the expenses, are taken care of by a slew of people as opposed to only the bride's family," says Lizzie Post, spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute and great-great-granddaughter of etiquette expert Emily Post. "You want to honor the tradition by allowing the bride's family to take the reins if they want to, but the groom's family should honor the new custom by offering.” 

2. Your wedding party can include all ages and genders.

A male maid of honor, a female best man, grandma as the flower girl—your wedding party is just that, yours; there should be no restrictions. "Platonic friendships nowadays are crossing the gender barrier, so it's not a problem at all if the bride would like a gentleman standing up at her side; she's more than welcome to," Post says. "And even the couple's family [can be included]. There are people who ask their mother to be the matron of honor or ask their grandmother to participate. So it's nice to see that's opened up a lot and people are embracing it."

3. Guests no longer have a full year to buy a gift.

Unfortunately this one might mean a few of us are in trouble! Unlike in years past, you no longer have up to a full year from the wedding to buy the bride and groom a gift. The appropriate time line is now "three months, so it definitely is something you want to try to get done as soon as possible," Post says. "Your friends would be thrilled if a year later you sent them a gift; it's never too late. But three months gives you enough time, especially now with the ability to just click on an online registry."

4. You can decline to be in the wedding party.

You've been in five weddings this year, and with the cost of the dresses, travel and gifts, you're broke. So if another dear friend asks you to join their wedding party, it's more than OK to politely decline. Just explain why in a heartfelt way. "Many modern brides really understand with the travel and distance [usually involved], but it's all in how you do it," Post says. "Say, 'I love you so much and I want to be there to support you, but right now being a bridesmaid is not something I can commit to. Is there another way I can help you on your big day? I know it's so important to show you how much I love you.' Make the bride know you do want to commit to it, but you can't."

5. It's acceptable to ask for gift cards or cash.

Nowadays, with family and friends living across the country and at various stages in their lives, it's definitely acceptable for a bride and groom to ask for gift cards or cash. "It's a great way to make it convenient for the guests and easy on them. I don't think it's tacky," Post says. Whereas you can ask for gift cards on your registry, as far as cash, just be polite about it. "You usually want to spread it by word of mouth. You definitely don't want to put 'cash only' on your website and you never put it on your invitation," Post adds.

6. The groom can see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony.

Superstition has it that it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride dressed in white before she walks down the aisle. But a lot of couples are kicking this to the curb for some alone time and a better photo op beforehand. "If the bride and groom are very traditional, they won't see each other before the ceremony. But photographers will encourage it because the bride's makeup is fresh and her hair is done so they can get a lot more photos done before the ceremony," says Elizabeth Todd, wedding coordinator at Blackstone Country Club in Peoria, Arizona. "Afterward, they can take a few family shots and enjoy the cocktail hour."

7. Men can take or leave the wedding ring.

Depending on where you grew up, there was probably a pretty clear norm regarding whether or not husbands wore a wedding ring. But nowadays it's really up to the groom—as long as his bride is fine with his decision. "I think it's totally a personal choice. I know some people choose to tattoo the ring on their finger," Post says. "It's a new option."

8. You don't have to do a wedding cake for dessert.

Maybe Cupcake Wars is responsible for this one—more and more often, modern couples are eschewing the traditional multi-tiered wedding cake and opting for cupcakes, or sometimes a dessert bar. "It's fun for the bride and groom to switch things up for dessert because not everyone likes wedding cake. It's also more fun for little kids; it’s easy to eat, less messy," Todd says. "[The bride and groom will] just do a smaller cake to cut for pictures and then after that's over, guests know they can go ahead and dig into the dessert bar."